Christmas Deception

The other day Christian and Kate went Christmas shopping together at Target. Apparently while perusing the isles Kate spotted a "dog dog". She finds them everywhere, in books, on shirts, on signs, and as soon as she does she starts a round of "dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog" followed by panting and barking. Sometimes she even kisses the picture of the dog. On this occasion the dog that was spotted was on the front of a DVD, "A Golden Christmas". Apparently after she got her hands on it she wouldn't stop kissing and hugging the case. Of course Christian, the sweet guy he is, couldn't leave without buying "A Golden Christmas" for Kate.

Now besides football (which she has watched every Saturday for the last few months), Kate's TV watching is pretty limited. She sees a show every once and a while, but for the most part the TV is usually off. When I saw Kate with that DVD in hand and a big smile on her face I thought to myself, "Oh no. This is going to be the movie that we have to watch over and over and over. The one where I have every line memorized. The one I end up hiding because I never want to see it again." As it turns out, that was not the case at all.

The movie is described on the back as follows:
"After a magical summer together, a nine-year-old boy whispers his heart's desire into the ear of his best friend. With a loyal Golden Retriever by their side, the boy and girl bury a time capsule of keepsakes--then they go their separate ways. Years later, looking for a fresh start, a man and woman each return to the place they felt most at home as a child. But a comedic case of mistaken identity has them competing for the same childhood memories, and crazy Christmas escapades ensue. For the sake of their happiness, they must discover their common past before they turn each other's lives completely upside-down. Can a golden dog lead them home?"

Based off of the description and the picture on the front you would think this movie is about a dog. Right? Right?

Monday night after Family Home Evening we pop the DVD into the player. Right away Kate sees the dogs on the menu and starts, "Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog," (sticks tongue out and pants) "woof, woof, dog, dog." We start up the movie. Opening credits: no dog. Opening scene: no dog. We start to fast forward. About ten minutes in we finally, for a very fleeting 5 seconds see a dog. Cut to another scene. No dog. We hit fast forward again. Another ten minutes go by before we get a couple of quick shots of the dog. Back to fast forward. This time there was quite a stretch with no dog, and when it finally did show up again it was for such a brief moment it wasn't even worth it to slow down. Finally, at the very end of the movie, the dog was featured for a full five minutes while she gave birth to puppies. After a few final shots of the puppies, the movie was over and the credits were rolling. As soon as the menu went back up Kate went nuts, "Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog."

We should have just watched the menu for fifteen minutes and called it a night. Needless to say, "A Golden Christmas" will not be one of our family traditions.

In other news, Kate likes the idea of Santa. Her favorite book right now is Jingle Bells. She points "Tan-ta" out on all the pages. The real-life Santa is a whole different story. See for yourself:

Christian was just glad it wasn't him stuck behind that sticky beard.