Lie #1: Vegetables are good for you.
You've seen the food pyramid, right? What's the best thing to eat? Vegetables, right? I was shopping at Costco when I saw a big bag of salad made of of kale, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cabbage, pumpkin seeds, cranberries, and poppy seed dressing. I bought it, brought it home, and ate a bowl full every day for lunch for 5 days. It was heavenly. DELICIOUS! And then, every night I had a HORRIBLE stomach ache. Christian was convinced for a little while that it was my appendix because I was in so much pain (and because if anyone is going to have some weird random body part malfunction, it's going to be me). After he did a little research, he started pointing fingers at my healthy, healthy salad. I didn't believe him and kept eating my salad. After the fifth night with a stomach ache, I finally read what he had been talking about. He was right! My mind was blown. This is what one website said, "Raw cabbage, broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts, collards and cauliflower -- all members of the Cruciferae or Brassicaceae family -- can cause severe cramping and bloating when eaten raw." Thanks for the warning!! I thought you were supposed to avoid foods like undercooked chicken, mayo that has been left out in the sun, and raw cookie dough (which I still eat). But vegetables?? Who knew.
Lie #2: It's good to read to your kids.
We got this book at the library the other day:
It's a Dora book written by Shakira.Since it's written by Shakira, she also appears as one of the characters in the book. Kate loved this book and for almost a whole week insisted that I call her Dora. I was fine with that. I was not fine with the fact that for almost a whole week she insisted on calling me Shakira, even in public. We were at the grocery store, "Shakira, can we please get some yogurt?" "Shakira, I need to go to the bathroom." "Shakira, I'll help you check out." My cheeks turned red more than once as I got some questioning glances.
Don't worry, I won't stop reading to my kids, but I'm definitely avoiding this book in the future.
Lie #3: I'd never let my child run around naked in a store in the dead of winter.
The day of the big snowstorm last week we went to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. We'd never been there before and because of the snow I ended up overestimating how much time it would take to get there. With 20 minutes to kill and below freezing temperatures, I decided to pass the time with my kids in the store next door. Right away Kate needed to go to the bathroom. I went to the front, got a key, and found the restroom. I went to get James out of the cart, opened the bathroom door, and then thought to myself, "I wonder why my arm is all wet." I got Kate set up and then looked at the kid in my arm. Then I looked at my arm, which was covered in poop. Somehow James had pooped from his neck to his knees. It was everywhere. With 10 minutes until the party started, I gave him a wet wipe bath, put him in a clean diaper, and then the three of us headed out to see if the store happened to sell toddler clothes. Lucky for me, we found the only 2T shirt in the store. They also had a pair of 3T Hello Kitty pants paired with a Hello Kitty shirt. I ended up buying both. Lucky for James, the Hello Kitty face on the pants was hidden once I rolled them up, and the shirt fit like a dream. Here he is a Chuck E. Cheese in his brand new outfit.
Bahaha! This post was hysterical! You are really a good writer Dagny! I loved the Shakira book. ha! So funny!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I often pick library books based on the cover illustrations. This is a terrible idea. We once got a book that had eubonics (sp?) in it, like lets teach our kids to butcher the english language...I think not!
ReplyDeleteI loved James outfit!!! This probably won't work since you have a compact car but have you ever considered putting a training potty in your car? I know that would not have saved you from James' explosion but I much prefer Afton to use the potty in the car than to find public restrooms.